Writing for More Than My Sake

This past two weeks I have been crazy busy leading day camps and I met some amazing women through this experience. One woman was particularly interesting to me. She works from home as a freelance writer. My understanding was that she works primarily for a travel magazine, in addition to regularly reviewing products sent to her by various companies, and publishing two ebooks, all while working on a novel. I was really blown away by her creative spirit and the freedom that she had created for herself through choosing such a nontraditional career path. She talked about traveling for work, getting excited about new products sent to her in the mail, writing a chapter of her novel that she liked so much she forgot she was reading her own words. I was fascinated by her, I struggled to tear myself away to take care of my camp director responsibilities, and moreover, I wanted to be like her.

I came home and declared to my husband that I was going to be a writer. I have an English degree, I write for my own pleasure, why couldn't I get published? Primarily, I am afraid to put my ideas out into the world because I assume that someone has already had the same idea and said it better or that my ideas are basic and obvious. I know that this isn't true, it is just difficult to force myself to look and the mirror and say "you are smart and interesting, of course people would want to read what you write." Since I have decided that writing is going to become something that is a part of my daily life, I've actually had some really solid ideas. This weekend, I got a huge confidence boost when I was out to dinner with my husband and in-laws. We were talking about religion. I'm a former Catholic, turned atheist and my husband jokingly takes credit for this fact. I was lightheartedly sharing a rather personal story with my family about the first time I had major doubts about my faith. After finishing the story, they were quiet for a moment before saying "That is a really beautiful story, you should write that into a poem." I was so touched, I struggled not to cry right there at dinner. Simply because I was growing more confident with myself and sharing stories about myself and as a reward for that, I got the praise that I am so hoping I can earn as a writer.

I've always carried around a notebook to write down ideas or interesting experiences that I have in the hopes that I will go back and make them into part of my novel. Sometimes I do and sometimes, I forget that I've even written anything down. This week, while driving an hour to and from camp everyday, I started listening to what I thought was an audio book by David Sedaris, Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules. While listening to the prologue by Mr. Sedaris, I was informed that this was in fact an anthology of short stories that he thought needed to be read. I had a revelation while listening to this beautiful collection, I could write short stories, I could write essays, my "novel" that I had been working on for years wasn't coming along because it wasn't the story for a novel, it was the story for a shorter work. While I'm still not quite sure what to do with this information yet, it excites me. It has made me interested in my own ideas. It has made me want to write every day and share my work with other people. It has emboldened me to take risks and damn the consequences or learn from them.

Here's the beginning of being a writer, of taking risks, of putting myself out there, and of eventual success stemming from hard work and a dedication to craft.